When life turns upside down

When life turns upside down

Sometimes, life turns upside down. It could be due to an unexpected medical diagnosis, an accident that lands you in the hospital, or the sudden departure of someone you love. Overnight, the life you knew comes to an abrupt halt. Projects, plans, and daily routines are put on hold. The vehicle we thought we were driving with more or less confidence now seems to be piloted by an external force that makes decisions for us. We are tossed between emotions of anger, worry, sadness, shock, and sometimes guilt or regret.

If that's what you're experiencing today, I offer you a way to take back your power if you wish. I'm going to share with you one of the strategies I teach to those who come to see me when they find themselves in this situation.

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First and foremost, it's essential to understand the mechanism of thoughts and emotions. The emotions you feel are not created by the situation you are in, but by the thoughts you have. In other words (excluding physical pain), if it were possible for you to have no thoughts at all about the situation you are experiencing, you would feel no emotions. If you had no thoughts in your head, you wouldn't be sad, worried, or angry. You would simply live and go through the situation, moment by moment, with more clarity than you'll ever have.

Clarity... Let's talk about it. Negative emotions are so not only because they are uncomfortable but also because they rob you of clarity. Anger, sadness, worry, and guilt rob you of your ability to think clearly, make the best decisions, act according to your values, and choose who you want to be in this situation. They rob you of precious moments, moments of connection and exchange with the people you love. They prevent you from seeing the care shown to you and from forgiving mistakes.

The good news is that these negative emotions (like all emotions) are not triggered by the situation, but by your thoughts, over which you have power.

Facing a new situation, or if you have never trained your brain, if you let your brain freewheel, it tends to generate thoughts that work against you. Yet what you need now more than ever is an ally. And that ally is you. You, offering the best you have to yourself. You want to team up with yourself and access the best of your abilities to deal with the situation in the best possible way.

How can you do this?

In the exceptional situation you are going through, to avoid adding suffering to suffering by being dragged down by painful thoughts, and to take care of yourself and those you love, I invite you to "become hyperaware."

Becoming hyperaware (as I define it in this context) means bringing all the thoughts that create your negative emotions to your consciousness so that you can intercept them and detach from them. This way, you will keep a clear mind and protect yourself from unnecessary pain.

Method:

To do this, observe yourself as a case study. Have a place at hand where you can note each thought responsible for the emotion that arises in you. If your phone is always with you, create a note in your phone with the title: "Painful thoughts: thought errors," or use a small notebook that should never leave your side.

For example, when you feel your heart clench, ask yourself, "What was the thought that triggered this?" Try to identify the phrase. It could be: “ I can't handle this”. The goal is to see this thought as a simple phrase, like words randomly chosen and strung together in a certain order by your brain. A sentence that, if implanted in any human brain, would create suffering.

Even if it seems true, even if you think it describes reality, it's OPTIONAL. You don't have to entertain it.

You can choose to think something else that will serve you better and give you power, rather than taking it away from you.

Get help:

Trained in these techniques, I can help you identify and replace these thoughts, so that you can regain power and control over your life.

The role of a professional is also to help you welcome the emotions you feel. It's not a question of denying your emotions, but rather of framing them and preventing unnecessary suffering and collateral damage, such as altering relationships with people you care about by subjecting them to your anger, for example.

Our role is to accompany you on the path of evolution that this situation invites you to follow, avoiding unnecessary suffering and softening your journey.

Remember, you have the power not to add suffering to suffering. 

You have the opportunity to learn to team up with yourself and become your own best ally by asking yourself this question:

"Am I loving myself when I have and entertain this thought?"

Stephanie

Please note: The content of this newsletter is not an invitation to "fight" your emotions. Your "negative" emotions have a message for you. Check out the May newsletter: The profound message of your emotions.

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If you want support through this difficult time, click the blue "Book a call" button below.