Rebuilding and rediscovering your worth after severe burns
The worst experience of my life also became my greatest source of growth.
My burns brought immense suffering. They changed my body, my appearance, and my entire life. Yet they also opened the door to a world I had never known before: the ability to transform life’s hardships into an unexpected inner strength.
It was along this journey that I discovered the extraordinary story of Alan Breslau, which I would like to share with you.
Stephanie Romeo
The Man Behind the Scars
A Life-Changing Accident
In 1963, Alan was 37 years old. A chemical engineer, married and the father of three children, he was traveling on a plane that crashed shortly after takeoff near Rochester, New York.
Alan was severely burned and deeply disfigured. He lost an eye, an ear, his nose, and several fingers. He was declared clinically dead twice. What followed were five years of hospitalization and more than eighty surgical procedures.
What struck those who knew him was not the magnitude of what he had lost. It was the direction he chose for his life afterward.
He did not try to become the man he had been before.
He chose to move forward with what was.
A photograph of Alan taken one year after the accident, before the reconstruction of his nose, is available here.
Warning: this image may be disturbing to some viewers.
Phoenix Society for Burn Survivors
In 1977, Alan founded the Phoenix Society for Burn Survivors, which today is the largest support organization for burn survivors in the United States. His ambition was simple: that no one should have to go through such an experience alone.
Hardship is not meant to be faced alone. It brings people together. It reveals solidarity. It requires us to ask, to receive, and to give.
For many years, Alan traveled across the country. He met with patients, spoke at conferences, listened, encouraged, and connected people.
He carried a deep conviction: a life marked by scars can be rich—sometimes richer than it might have been without the ordeal.
Visible or invisible, scars can become opportunities for growth.
« If your face deviates from the average, regardless of the cause, remember:
Alan Breslau
YOU have the power.
You can give the power to strangers, or you can keep it for yourself! »
Delwyn : An Ally Through Adversity
In New Zealand, Delwyn, who would later become Delwyn Breslau, experienced a life-changing event of her own. Her youngest son was severely burned in an accidental explosion.
After he left the hospital, she began supporting other parents facing the same ordeal. An organization soon took shape.
Judy Knighton (Canada), Chantal Noël founder of ABF (France), Delwyn Fowler-Tait (New Zealand), Jennifer Helmich (Australia), Barbara Taylor (Australia), and Alan Breslau.
In 1988, the first conference of the Phoenix Society for Burn Survivors took place. Alan invited Delwyn to speak. That is where their story began.
Delwyn later said she fell in love with Alan’s spirit, his enthusiasm and his ability to look at life without defining himself by his appearance.
Hardship does not diminish a life. It deepens it.
For nearly thirty years, the couple traveled the world together, offering hope and support to those who needed it most. Their dedication was constant and widely recognized.
Image, Identity, and Value
What they built went far beyond the issue of burns. They helped shift the way people think about appearance and the value we attach to it.
What does our value really depend on?
Their journey reminds us that inner strength does not depend on an intact face, a title, or performance. It is built in the way we move through adversity and in the quality of the connections we choose to create.
Who Am I When Everything Changes?
At the beginning of my coaching career, I received a message I did not expect.
Delwyn Breslau wrote to me.
In her message, she told me that what I was sharing on social media was something her husband Alan could have said himself. Her words touched me deeply, and a friendship began.
If I tell their story today, it is not only to honor their commitment.
It is because I know, having lived it, that an ordeal can profoundly shake the image we have of ourselves, not only physically, but also in the inner representation we hold of who we are.
A burn changes a face.
An ordeal can shake an identity.
Then the questions become deeper:
Who am I when what others see in me changes?
Who am I when what I once defined myself by is no longer there?
A person’s value is not measured by appearance, position, or wealth.
It remains intact, whatever events may occur.
What is required is a shift:
moving from the illusion of external security to the construction of an inner one.
That is precisely what guides my work today:
helping people move through that transformation so they can discover its gift sooner.
If Alan could say anything to you today, he would tell you this:
“NEVER give up on finding someone to love. There IS someone out there for YOU!”
Delwyn Breslau
“SURVIVE AND THRIVE” Download Alan Breslau’s Philosophy
Inspirational quotes that bring hope and support you along the way.
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