Even leaders disappoint themselves sometimes.
I’m not talking about missing a target or losing an important contract.
I’m talking about those moments when you notice a reaction, an emotion, or a behavior in yourself that doesn’t align with the person you want to be.
Perhaps you catch yourself feeling jealous when you never thought you were the jealous type. Or you react more strongly than you’d like, despite seeing yourself as calm and composed.
And then the thought appears:
“I’m not the person I thought I was.”
It’s uncomfortable.
You feel disappointed in yourself.
Why This Disappointment Is Good News
Disappointing yourself may feel like failure, but in reality, it’s very good news.
Why?
Because it is a sign of self-awareness.
It means you are capable of observing yourself.
Of stepping back from your thoughts, your emotions, and the way your decisions and behaviors affect those around you. That ability is invaluable.
The way you show up as a leader directly influences your relationships, your team, and the quality of your decisions. This awareness allows you to adjust your leadership with greater intention.
An Invitation to Humility
Moments like these are also an invitation to return to something essential: humility.
The word humility comes from the Latin humus, meaning “earth.”
To be humble is to stay grounded, clear-headed, and realistic.
It is accepting yourself as a human being, with strengths as well as vulnerabilities.
When you disappoint yourself, you’re simply being reminded that you don’t need to be above others. You simply need to be authentic.
How to Turn This Experience Into a Growth Opportunity
From this point on, you have a choice.
You can reject what you’ve just discovered.
Or you can use it to grow.
Here is a simple approach you can apply immediately.
1. Acknowledge It
Look honestly at what happened, without judgment.
With curiosity, ask yourself:
What happened?
What is this situation showing me?
2. Give Yourself Credit
Many people run away when they disappoint themselves. Facing yourself honestly requires courage and emotional maturity. Give yourself credit for having the courage to look.
3. Welcome the Opportunity
What you’ve just discovered is not a setback. It’s an opening. The beginning of your next stage of growth. A stronger version of yourself is beginning to emerge.
What Happens When You Avoid It
If, instead, you refuse to look, you’re simply sweeping the issue under the rug. The disappointment doesn’t disappear.
To avoid feeling that discomfort, you may begin focusing more on what’s wrong with other people. Your perspective becomes more critical, more rigid. People notice.
Your leadership becomes less steady, your relationships grow more strained, and your influence begins to diminish, even though your role requires clarity, stability, and sound judgment.
Over time, this lack of self-awareness limits your ability to build trust and help others grow.
An Opportunity to Become a Better Leader
Disappointing yourself is not a sign of weakness. It is an opportunity.
An opportunity to understand yourself more deeply, strengthen your relationship with yourself, and refine the way you lead and make decisions.
Ultimately, this is what allows you to make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and become a more grounded, effective leader.
To explore this idea further, listen to Episode 65 of the French podcast 3 Minutes pour Tout Changer: “Disappointing Yourself: An Opportunity for Growth.”
If you’d like to step back, understand what’s really happening beneath situations like these, and strengthen your leadership, I’d be happy to support you.
Book a discovery call.
Stephanie Romeo
Executive Coach
Creator of the KAL™ Method
Host of the French podcast 3 Minutes pour tout changer
