Have you ever felt that you’re not living up to others’ expectations, especially those of people you care about?
When you lead, exposure to expectations is constant. And it can quickly become heavy.
Perhaps today, without even realising it, this mechanism is at play: someone makes a remark,harmless to them, yet it lands for you like a direct hit.
And deep inside, a familiar, harsh sentence resurfaces: “I’m not the way I should be.”
Then the self-criticism begins. You withdraw, or you react with sharpness.
In both cases, you don’t like your reaction. And you conclude that something is wrong with you.
Once again, you’ve just convinced yourself that you are not “as you should be.”
Holding Standards Without Self-Sabotage
What you are experiencing is not a flaw. It is a thought error.
We are often affected by thought errors, mistaken thoughts that shape the way we perceive and act, without us even realising it.
When we learn to identify them and step out of them, a sense of calm becomes possible.
You begin to understand this:
you are exactly as you should be, unique in your own way.
The response to these thought errors is neither self-attack nor self-correction, but support.
Saying to yourself,“I accept myself as I am,” can be enough to disarm these inner criticisms.
But What Does “Being as You Should Be” Even Mean
At its core, what does “being the way you should be” even mean?
Becoming a different version of yourself depending on who is looking at you?
You can choose something else: the version that truly reflects who you are, the one no one else can embody in your place.
If you want to step back from the mechanisms that drive you and respond with more clarity and accuracy, I invite you to book a confidential conversation.
Stephanie Romeo
Executive Coach
Creator of the KAL™ Method
Host of the French podcast 3 minutes pour tout changer
